I think at some point I will have to call a priest,

or host a televised paranormal investigation at least,

for there seems to be a demon in my car,

who likes to tease me and keep my side door open and ajar.


My back hatch is clamped down really, very tight,

he makes it so the key won’t successfully turn to the right.

Yesterday the demon shut down my flowing air,

I wish it went back to his underworld and his lair.


I think the haunting of my van needs intervention,

to nab the demon before he ruins the suspension.

Whether to call police, the priest, the company, or a mechanic,

before I go down just like the almighty Titanic.


My demon ghost is not the same as friendly Casper,

He’s not a vampire like Edward, Bella or Jasper.

He’s not as handsome as the ghost played by Patrick Swayze,

He’s just a pain and pushes buttons with a haunting that’s rather lazy.


Yes my van needs some type of exorcism,

before my windshield splits on me and forms a prism,

before the windshield wipers come alive, before my bumper falls off and takes a dive,

before there’s no returning him back to hell and earth’s schism.


Yes I think my van with me is trying to communicate,

that he must not like my white pine cone license plate.

I need an exorcist to come fix my van that’s haunted.

So I can ride in peace and no longer be taunted.